I have recently viewed a video of an office lady being molested by a man on Singapore MRT. From the video, the person who took the video did not stop the man and the office lady did not walk away. Scrolling down to the comments, some scolded the person who took the video for not taking any action to stop the incident and some questioned why the lady did not walk away.
Today, I met with a sleeping man who is suspected of taking advantage of the lady sitting beside him. I use the word “suspected” because there is no proof and he is “sleeping”. Let me share the chronological order of the events and you think for yourself.
1. When I on board the train, there is a lady sitting on the left of a sleeping man. The sleeping man is tilting his head to the left, towards the lady and almost touching her breasts (almost, but not touching). From the face of the lady, she is unhappy but she does not move away.
2. The lady alights and another tired man sits at her place. Both men are sleeping, but this time, the first sleeping man does not tilt his head at all. (Curious, isn’t it?)
3. The person who sits on the right of the first sleeping man alights and I sit at the place. Miraculously, this time the man tilts his head to the right, instead of left! I feel offended, so I give a gentle push to “push” him away from me (but strong enough to send a signal that I do not welcome “his head” near me).
4. He does not open his eyes, but I see his glance. He alights at the next station after my “push”.
Ladies, there are times when we need to depend on ourselves for our own safety and dignity. Yes, we may not be strong physically, but we can send a “No” signal to the person who is causing you annoyance and discomfort. I can understand that you are afraid, and sometimes the action is so subtle that people may say you are oversensitive. Oversensitive or not, sending a signal that is strong enough to keep him at a distance can protect youself. If he is innocent, he will say “Sorry” and case closed.
If there is no “Sorry” from the person, like my case, you know, you have done yourself a favour for keeping yourself safe. Be brave! Be strong! Be safe!